funny things the kids said today

Matthew (age 5) and Thomas (age 3) were really funny today. Here are a few conversations we had.

Matthew:
"Do you know how I ate my food so quickly? I didn't chatter and stayed focused."

Bryon:
"Matthew, just because your request was rejected doesn't mean that you can cry."
"Daddy, please don't call me a reject."

Matthew was bugging Thomas. Thomas's veins popped out, he hit Matthew and screamed, "You are MAKING me do this!"

Me:
"Matthew, eat your asparagus because it gives you big muscles."
"Mom, I don't need to eat asparagus. I already have a weight lifing routine."

Bryon:
"Let's all clap for Thomas!" (Bryon proceeds to clap loudly)
Matthew:
"Daddy, please do the golf clap instead."

Matthew:
"I want to open this jar, but Daddy put the lid on too stinkin' tight!"